What To Say Now: Episode #15
Conversation Starts Inside Our Own Heads
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Show Notes and Links:
What To Say Now Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/whattosaynow
Full Show Transcript:
Dan Stewart (00:16): Hey guys. It's me, Dan Stewart. I'm hoping this is live on Facebook and I'm hoping you can see what I'm saying. I will be looking for your comments here in the chat, guys. I have a very special episode of What To Say Now with you today. Over the past 15 episodes, we've been talking very consistently about things you can say to generate a specific desired outcome. You've got old contacts you want to reengage, you've got brand new leads you need to convert, right? Well, we can give you the language for those sorts of things, and yet, none of that matters if you're not saying the same right things to yourself. Okay? So today we're going to have a real conversation about the things that we say internally. Okay?
Dan Stewart (01:03): So let's start by just acknowledging, I mean, do we all have an inner voice? Yes, we do. And can we also acknowledge that that voice is sometimes kind of an asshole, right? It's true. It's true. We tend to be a lot harder on ourselves oftentimes than the outside world is. Far too many of us spend our days worried about what might happen instead of what's actually in front of us. So we're living sometimes too far in the future, or sometimes we're so burdened by things that have happened in the past that we can't release it and move on.
Dan Stewart (01:40): So rather than just give you scripts and fancy words you can say to create a desired sales outcome, we need to take a moment and press pause and say, Hey guys, let's have a conversation about what we say to ourselves. So I'm going to share with you a few things that I've learned over my career as an entrepreneur. And many of you will know, I've been self employed for a little over 20 years. I've started seven companies. Four of them have generated multimillion dollar revenues. Three of them have been dumpster fires, right? So you don't always have the outcome you're searching for. And yet, as long as you learn from it, there's value in pursuing that outcome.
Dan Stewart (02:24): So what I'm going to share with you now are five simple activities that you can follow that are really going to help you create the outcomes that you want by helping you control that inner landscape. Right? So the first, the very first thing that I'm going to share with you is that you've got to put yourself first. You should have a me first attitude. And I know that might sound really strange to some people because, like me, you may have been raised to put yourself last, right? You serve others before you serve yourself. Heck, a lot of you are fiduciaries, right? You don't even consider your own wellbeing in the transaction, and you shouldn't, right?
Dan Stewart (03:06): So what I'm saying here, I want to be very clear about, when it comes to why you're doing what you're doing, you need to have absolute certainty about that. And the only way you can arrive at that certainty is to spend some time with yourself, getting really clear about what actually matters to you. Okay? What matters to me is fine for me. What matters to you is what we're talking about today. That's what you have to work on.
Dan Stewart (03:31): So I'm going to encourage you, as you're going on this journey called life, to get really clear about what you stand for. What are the things that you will defend? Where will you plant that flag? How will you be remembered? What are the things that are absolutely non-negotiables for you? I want you to be absolutely clear what those things are, because it's going to give you the confidence to move forward against any sort of adversity that you might encounter along the way.
Dan Stewart (04:00): And that brings us to the next step, which is your blueprint. Right? Your blueprint is your idea of the way the world works. It's what you fundamentally believe about, if these things are such, it means that. We all have a blueprint that we're walking around with and when we add the blueprint, plus what we stand for, we get an idea of what our purpose is. Okay? So I'm going to share with you some ideas from people we all know about what these three things are to give you some ideas about what they might be for you.
Dan Stewart (04:35): So the first one we'll start with is what do you stand for? So I'm going to put a quote on the screen, and then I'm going to read it to you. And I'm going to ask you to just imagine who you might think this person might be. So the quote reads, "To be a teacher and to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be." Wow. That's pretty awesome. That could be all sorts of amazing people. What a wonderful mission that is, to teach other people and to be known for inspiring them to be more than they thought they could be. That's really special.
Dan Stewart (05:14): And the person who said this is Oprah Winfrey. Okay? Now, I remember Oprah Winfrey as just this talk show person. And yet, she didn't see herself as just a talk show person, right? She saw herself as having an opportunity to teach people some really amazing things that could improve their lives. Right? So that's what she stands for. That's what she's about.
Dan Stewart (05:37): Next, we'll take a look at what is your blueprint? Okay, so again, I'll read you a quote and ask you to think who this might be. The quotes says, "To have fun in my journey through life and learn from my mistakes." To have fun in my journey through life and learn from my mistakes. Now, that was said by Richard Branson. Right? Now, you might know Richard Branson from the Virgin companies. He's been incredibly successful in a wide variety of different businesses.
Dan Stewart (06:12): And one of the things that I think is really interesting is the story about how he founded Virgin Airlines. He actually had a canceled flight and he looked around and he saw how many people were also frustrated that there was a canceled flight. And so, he had the initiative to see if he could charter a plane to take himself and the other passengers to their destination. He was actually able to pull that off. And that frustration was the birth of something that went on to become quite successful. So there's inspiration all around us. And if you have ever heard Richard Branson speak, he has a magical gift of making everyone who hears him feel like they have the potential to be just as successful as he is. I think that's important.
Dan Stewart (07:04): Next, we'll take a look at what is your purpose. And this quote says, "To make a contribution to the world by making tools for the mind that advance humankind." To make a contribution to the world by making tools for the mind that advance humankind. Interesting. That's a huge purpose. And the man who said those words was Steve Jobs. Right? So each of these people are absolutely clear about what it is they need to be focused on, right? They have that sense of purpose and clarity in their lives.
Dan Stewart (07:44): And I believe that those of us who were most fastened to ours, those of us who can access that at a moment's notice, we have a gift in environments of adversity, because we're just not pushed around as strongly as other people would be. When you know what you stand for, it's a lot easier to defend it. Right? So please spend some time and think about why you're here. What is your purpose? What do you stand for? And what is your. blueprint? Those are three questions I want you to work on.
Dan Stewart (08:14): Now, the second of the five activities, and there's only two that we're covering today, right? This one is hugely, hugely important. And I'll say, it's not possible unless you've really worked on the first one. Right? So the second tip I'll give you is to be confident. Sounds easy, right? Just be confident. It'll be fine. How hard could that be, right? Just be confident, not a big deal. And yet, for so many of us, it is. It's hard sometimes to feel confident. And if you're listening to this right now and you've ever felt intimidated by a situation or even a person, that's okay. It's a very human thing to feel less than confident.
Dan Stewart (09:01): So I want to give you the opportunity to create some confidence in your life, right? So to be confident, you need a solid foundation. You have to have a solid foundation with deep roots. And then, when you have those two things, that gives you the ability to exert some influence over other people. So a solid foundation, right? I mean, in real estate, there's a term that we've all heard. You're thinking of it right now. It's fake it till you make it. I'm not a fan of that. I've heard that for years, and every time I hear that, I always think of this.
Dan Stewart (09:42): This was a development in China. They built these tall condominiums and they literally blew over in a strong breeze. Right? You can't fake important things, guys. You just can't. You've got to do the work. So I'm going to give you a tactic here you can apply even for just the smallest little thing, because think of it like a grain of sand in an oyster. That greatest sand is a little bit of an irritant, but it gets layered and layered and layered over, and it turns into a beautiful pearl over time. So rather than just trying to fake everything and hope that it'll work out, take the time to really build that strong foundation.
Dan Stewart (10:26): And you can do that by applying a technique. I'm going to teach you now. It's called the confident, I don't know. How many times during a sales call do you have someone ask you a question you're not certain about? I got a tip for you. They can tell you're not certain about it. It's obvious to them. It's obvious to everyone. So rather than say, Oh, yeah, yeah. Here's what I think we do with this or that, that eats away at you internally, right? You're teaching yourself that you're not confident when speaking with people.
Dan Stewart (11:00): It's much, much better to give them a confident, I don't know. You can simply say, Hey, you know what? That's a great question and I don't know. I'm going to find out. Let me find out and I'll get back to you. That's great. And then you get an opportunity to prove to that person that you do what you say you're going to do. You go find out and you get back to that person. Makes a big difference, right?
Dan Stewart (11:23): And each time you do that, each time you train your brain that you're capable of doing what you say you're going to do, you're planting something, guys. You're planning these really, really deep roots, and you need deep roots to get through life. You need to be absolutely certain of who you are and what you stand for. Right? Sales is an occupation where you can feel like you're riding this roller coaster all the time. I mean, there are peaks and valleys, right? It can be incredibly thrilling and there are moments where it can be terrifying. Okay? So the way we get through the storm is by having deep roots so we can withstand the breeze, right? That's important.
Dan Stewart (12:04): And so, when you put this together, when you've taken the time to understand what you stand for, you understand your blueprint, you know why you're here and what you intend to do, you have the right to feel confident regardless of the situation that you encounter. And this is where it gets magical, quite frankly, because when you show up in an environment where you're confident, that gives you the ability to influence other people, right? It absolutely does. You're not going to be influenced by someone who's not confident in themselves. And the only way to get confident in yourself is to do the work. Okay?
Dan Stewart (12:44): So that's my message for you today. That's what I want to share with you. And I've written about this extensively and I'm going to continue to teach about this as well. So if you like what I've shared with you today, I'd like you to go ahead and comment down below in the comments. If you could put some things that you stand for, I'd love to see that. I'd love to know things you do that make you feel confident, right?
Dan Stewart (13:08): I'd love to hear about whether you're faking it or you're making it. Right? Because you don't have to fake it. Folks, you can access every single thing that you need in order to create the life that you want. It's here, it's available for us. We don't need to fake it. We can simply plant those deep roots, and then we deserve to achieve the success that we're out for.
Dan Stewart (13:34): So this, by the way, is the 15th episode of What To Say Now. The 15th episode, can you believe it? I love that we've been having these conversations. I really appreciate the feedback. I love how many people in my community have reached out to me privately and said, "Hey, I really appreciate what you're doing. I want you to keep it up." So if you feel that way, please let me know in the comments below. That would be fantastic.
Dan Stewart (13:59): And I'm going to close by giving you one more tip. This will be the bonus tip for today. And I like to say this in kind of a fun way. So I'm going to ask you to go flock yourself. Okay? It's time to go flock yourself. You need to get flocked up. With all sincerity, we need people beside us to get through this at the level we intend to. So I see people here engaging. I see you there, Red. I see Maya and Brian. I see people who are in my flock, right? We all need to have a group of people around us that we can share our triumphs and our challenges with. It's important. We need people who can lift us up and we need to lift others up as well.
Dan Stewart (14:47): So all that's available for us through community. And that's why I'm so proud to be working on this project of What To Say Now. So please share our group, facebook.com/groups/what to say now. We have so much exciting stuff we've been working on. It's September 1st today. It's going to be an absolutely amazing September. So join me here on Tuesday next week at 2:00 PM eastern. We'll go live and I'll look forward to chatting with you in between. Take care, everybody. Bye now.