Real Estate New Year's Resolutions - A New Mindset: WTSN Episode 31

Real estate agents make New Year's resolutions just like most people. And like most people, studies show that within a few weeks (or sometimes days), that resolution will be as much of a memory as 2020. It's time to create a new mindset around resolutions and learn how to crush your goals in 2021 and keep those resolutions. 

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Dan Stewart (00:11): Hey guys. It's Tuesday, December 29th, 2020 at 2:00 PM Eastern Time. What does that mean? It means it's time for the next episode, episode number 31 of What To Say Now, can you believe it? I'm excited about this episode because I'm going to share with you something that has made a massive difference in my life, and I'm going to pay it forward to the right person who deserves credit for this too. So way back in ancient history, before recorded time, I was in second grade and I had a great teacher named Mrs. Dunn. She was remarkable for a lot of reasons, one of which is that most of the students in the class were actually taller than she was, God's honest truth. Mrs. Dunn was amazing in many ways, she taught us a process that if I look back at my life and I see some of the things I've learned that I've really stuck with, this is one of them and it has to do with new year's resolutions, right?
Dan Stewart (01:15): So come on, here we are right at the end of the year, we're about to start a new one, and so many of us are saying, "Oh, I need to set some resolutions." We go through this process where we start a new year with hope, with this great sense of purpose of what's going to happen, we're excited about that. Then just a few days or weeks in, we find ourselves falling off course and pretty soon we've forgotten about our new year's resolutions. So why does that happen? Why does that happen? Yes, I'm asking you guys literally, why does this happen? I see you there, Brian, Valerie Garcia, hello, love that you're here today. It's great to have some people tuning in live for this because new year's resolutions, man, I could pick a bone with this, right? I can.
Dan Stewart (02:03): I'm going to start with just the term new year's resolutions. Let's break it down. We've got a new year, that part pretty clear. We all understand there is a new year coming, thank the sweet baby Jesus because we're ready to get past 2020, I know all of us feel that way. Then we have this other word resolution, and a resolution to most of us is okay, it's something we want to do. We're going to like get richer, weigh less, be more awesome in the next year and a few weeks in, we feel like we're off track, we're not achieving our goals. I believe that part of the reason for this is because we don't truly understand what a resolution is. Let's break that word down resolution, it's root is resolve, and resolve means to complete.
Dan Stewart (02:52): If you create a resolution for something, all of your thinking on that topic is resolved, you are moving forward with absolute certainty toward the achievement of something, that's a resolution. A similar word is decide. If you write this down, if you say I'm resolved, I'm going to do this, you are making a decision to achieve that and nothing else. You are literally, if we go to the root of the word decide, to cut off from, we are cutting ourselves off from all other possibilities. So when you have a resolution, take it seriously. You shouldn't just write it down like a small thing and then oh shucks, I didn't make it, it's no big deal. This is your life, this is your life. This is a brand new year, this is an opportunity to make real positive change for yourself and the people that you care about.
Dan Stewart (03:45): So my goal today is to share with you a framework that Mrs. Dunn taught me, that believe it or not back from ancient history to today, this is still incredibly useful. So I remember her standing there in front of the class and she said, "We're going to set some new year's resolutions." And we talked through what resolutions were, and then she said, "I want you to start by thinking back over the past year." We're like, "Okay, what about?" She's like, "I want you to think of the things that were really worthwhile, what did you enjoy over the past year?" And we're like, "Cartoons yay." Well, I'm going to ask you right now in your business, what did you enjoy over the past year? What did you invest your time, your energy, your dollars in that actually worked? Think about that. As you're building out that list, it's going to get smaller and smaller.
Dan Stewart (04:44): Then I'm going to ask you to move on a little bit further here. Not only what did you enjoy, but what was productive? What really worked? What produced the results that you were looking for? Now that you've got a couple of lists built out, it's time to ask yourself, what do you want to do more of, what do you want to do less of, and what will you commit that you will never do again? Here's the interesting twist, Mrs. Dunn's genius wasn't I will do 100 pushups a day, it was, I won't go to sleep without doing at least 10 pushups. Sometimes just reframing it, that little bit, can make a big difference for us. So that's my challenge for you, is to ask yourself in your business, what are the things that you just won't do again?
Dan Stewart (05:36): I know for a lot of you, it will be things like, I won't let a relationship fall by the wayside, I won't let another month go by without reaching out to people I care about and making sure they know. These are good things that lead to not just positive business results, but real feelings of connection and certainty of who you are, where you are in the world, and the impact that you're making on other people. So this is very near and dear topic to me, and I'm really glad to share these thoughts. So as you're watching this, go ahead, comment in the comments, tell me about the things you want to do more of, tell me about the things you want to do less of, tell me what the things are that you will absolutely never do again. Think about it.
Dan Stewart (06:23): Was it something you bought? Was it something you enrolled in? Was it an experience you thought would be wonderful and turned out not to be? Was it a departure from the normal attempt to see and experiencing something new that just didn't work out the way you thought it would? Whatever it is, whatever sorts of things occurred to you, my suspicion is that it's going to come down to the relationships that you have in your life. Almost invariably, we see where we're investing ourselves in people and spending quality time with them. Whether these are past clients, whether these are our family, our friends, people in our sphere of influence, or even if these are brand new leads, people that we don't even really know yet, if we're able to create those meaningful moments of connection, those are types of things that lead us to the achievement of our goals.
Dan Stewart (07:16): So this year as you're setting your new year's resolution, let's keep this in mind. First thing we want to do is recognize that we don't take this lightly. If we're making a resolution, we are cutting ourselves off from all the other possibility, we are resolved to achieving this thing that we're setting out to do. Just that level of internal certainty, that switch inside when it goes on, that's going to power you forward in some interesting ways. Second, you want to ask yourself, "Hey, what did I really enjoy? Where did I make an impact this year that's uniquely my own? How was it that I showed up to really make a difference? And within that, what are the things I want to do more of, the things I will do less of, and the things I will never do again? Having that list is going to allow you to strip away from all the things you could do and to focus on the very meaningful things that when you actually do them will increase your level of certainty, your level of happiness, and your ability to make a larger impact on the world.
Dan Stewart (08:21): So that's the wisdom I'm paying for from my second grade teacher, Mrs. Dunn, today. It's something I've been thinking about and practicing throughout my professional career. I want to have a very short list, I don't want to have a huge giant list of things. I want it to be small and simple, I want it to be some daily activities that I know for sure I can hit day in and day out, and I want to be absolutely certain that if this pops up, I don't even need to pay attention to it because that's on the list of things that I won't do. The more control you take over what you're willing to invest your time in, the greater the likelihood is that you're going to experience joy as you're traveling on this path to success.
Dan Stewart (09:06): So thank you everyone for attending today. I do appreciate your feedback and comments. So many of you are consistently here week in and week out, I love it. Maya, I'm not doing 25 push-ups nightly, not going to happen. Never door knocking, really? I think door knocking is actually pretty cool despite the fact that it's COVID times and it's not as cool as it used to be. I actually had a job right out of college where I knocked on hundreds of doors, hundreds and hundreds of doors, I did it for I think about three and a half months and I learned some pretty cool things along the way. So I see that as we close the year here, it's natural for businesses to be competing for your attention, and I'm going to encourage you to quiet, get to a place where you could retreat within yourself and really be certain about what's important to you. Then resolve that that's what you will focus on, and I promise you you'll have a better 2021 than your expectations.
Dan Stewart (10:09): So until we chat next time, guys, I look forward to hearing your feedback in the comments below. Again, this is What To Say Now, we get together once a week, every Tuesday at 2:00 PM Eastern, and we discuss the conversations that you need to have both internally and externally. Today, we've been focused on that inner conversation, and oftentimes what we say to ourselves is some of the most important conversations we have. We have a choice, we could be our own best friend to help us really follow a path or we can continually beat ourselves up with stress and doubt. I think the more certainty you develop about why you're doing what you're doing, the easier those stumbling blocks will be to get over as you encounter them. So till next time, I look forward to hearing your feedback. Thanks, everybody.