DOSAGE: Use Happy Grasshopper every three weeks to increase customer responses.
WARNING! Happy Grasshopper is NOT for everyone.
Discontinue use if you suffer from any of the following: Inability to smile. Patent dislike of success. Inclination to whine. Insatiable need to talk about yourself. You hate children and puppies and rainbows. You think Chekhov is hilarious. Flowers wilt at your glance. The last time you laughed was 1964. You find sunshine and new life tiresome. You have no interest in new business or in making any money. You’re content to spin out the same, tired messaging you’ve been pushing since the Reagan Administration. You think the world would be a better place if everyone would just take things more seriously. You just don’t like people.
If you suffer from three or more of the above, Happy Grasshopper is definitely NOT for you.
If, however, you think smiling’s pretty great, you would rather start conversations with your customers, and you think getting new business is a very good thing, indeed, well … Happy Grasshopper is just the thing you need. We guarantee it.